Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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