69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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