I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
And then he peed in my hair
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