exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
