I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
