do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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