She is in my trunk
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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