why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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