I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
