I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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