man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
