dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
