Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
