I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
