i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
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6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
be right there i have to get my cape
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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