you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
