I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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