She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
