I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You took a bar mat shot.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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