I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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