wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
People in love make me want to vomit
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
