Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
