Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
