i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
