i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
