Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
