where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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