I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
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Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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