what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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