actually, I'm a sock model
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
