My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
