Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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