Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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