We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
