DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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