we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Shame - the story of my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
