you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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