so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
