Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
