She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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