How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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