I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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