how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Buhtt sex?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
