how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
