You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
