I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
