Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
