Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Drake has all the answers
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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