i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize