YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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