I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
