It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
