my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
