i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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