What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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