I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
