what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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