how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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