You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
