i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize