Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
