last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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