I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I bet he comes in French.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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